Prepare the dogs:

1. In a frying pan (preferably cast iron) over medium heat, add enough oil to barely coat the bottom of the pan. Add the dogs and gently saute until the color pigment intensifies and barely browns.

Prepare the rolls:

1. In a colander over a pot of simmering water, lay in a clean towel.

2. Place each roll, avoiding contact with the other, and fold the towel over and cover.

3. Steam until soft but not disintegrating.

Assemble:

1. In a bowl, mix the red relish, chili sauce, mayo and lemon juice.

2. Open your heated roll. Lay the romaine in first to keep the roll from getting soggy.

3. Add a pickle slice, a squirt of mustard, the dog, tomato slices and the mayo mixture.

4. Top with the brightest green relish you can find. Add pepper rings and a sprinkle of celery salt.